John Godawfuliano Designs for Top Chef

Dahlings, just when I despaired that John Godawfuliano was no more and that he had morphed into John Galliano the Spanish inspired hero of Christian Dior's 60th anniversary bash, he reemerges in full glory as The Gift That Keeps On Giving. Let's have some fun with this collection, shall we, and imagine the chefs and judges of this week's Top Chef reunion show in these, er, outfits.

Ilan Hall should have worn this darling ensemble at the reunion show. This is how the sockless look works best, dahling.

Cliff would have looked absolutely unforgettable in this one of a kind Zen Ghetto Apocalypto look. I so adore men with a huge, ahem, hose dangling down their chests.

I paired Clay with this 'Alligator just attacked my shirt' look. How darling would this original ensemble look on our Southern boy? Indeed, wearing this versatile outfit, Clay could motorcycle down to the Great Dismal, wade in mucky waters to catch crayfish, and leave his fly unloosed so he can pee while working. Truly an outrageously practical garment.

Mikey, having some heft around the middle, would best be served with this darling coat inspired by the finest bed ticking made in all of China. Our Mikey would have looked particularly cute wearing this adorable head bandana.

You say Sam would look too effeminate in fishnet stockings? Think again. Here's the perfect look for our studly man. Every time someone during the reunion said, "You lost, ha ha, you lost," this facial cover up would have hidden the true girlie pain and anguish our loser was experiencing.

This one's Da Bomb and has Tom Colicchio written all over it. As the finale of John Godawfuliano's unforgettable ensembles, I do believe Tom deserves the top honcho prize. A cute little beret perched on his bald pate, and Tom would look even more boffo than this male model.

Now it's your turn, dahlings. Which male at the reunion show would look stunning in this get up and why?

To paraphrase Paul Harvey from the old days: Click here to see the rest of the John Galliano Mercedez Benz Summer 2008 Menswear Collection story.