May 24, 2008

Colin's Manhood Revealed

Oh, dahlings, sometimes a tidbit of news is too delicious to pass up. As some of you know, I am a RABID Jane Austen fan, or Janeite to be more accurate, and I do so love all things P&P and Colin Firth. But this little tidbit concerns Colin's Pee Pee, which he was more than pleased to discuss on The Dailey Show.

Click here to hear him tell of an embarrassing moment in the toilette when he was photographed au naturel below his bb (belly button).

The comments are funnier than the tale itself.

May 18, 2008

On Lisa, Miguel, Michaelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci

I'm still swamped, and I have slowed this blog to a crawl. This does not mean I have not been watching Bravo. So here are my observations about two characters from Top Chef 4 and Step It Up and Dance who I have placed in the same category as fingernails grating on a chalkboard:

I'm so over Lisa from Top Chef 4. I have been for a long time. Look, I'm not going to get too personal here, but anyone who is so belligerent with the judges, scowls at others as she stands with her arms crossed (what's with that huge chip on your shoulder, hon?), and has an overly inflated opinion of her talents simply TURNS ME OFF. As for throwing Andrew under the bus during the judges deliberation, that was tres declasse, dahling. Your desperation is showing.

Have y'all noticed how Bravo keeps showcasing Lisa's comments? Are they setting her up to be one of the final two? Oh, gawd, I hope not. I'm already having huge problems with Season Four, and this would kill the series for me. BTW, after the first episode I had predicted that Lisa would be one of the last six survivors, but this was before I began to regard her comments as a slow form of Chinese Water Torture.

Same goes for Miguel in Step It Up and Dance. Ok, so you have talent, and you made me ROFL when you chose those hideous silver leggings from Jeffrey Sebalia's collection, but I am tired of hearing how talented you think you are. Shut up already and dance, girlfriend. And when you get booted off, take it like a man, as Michael did.

Dahlings, just get one thing straight in your self-inflated minds: You are not THAT terrific. Look, Michaelangelo was equally as talented as Leonardo Da Vinci, but it was Leonardo with his courtly manner and aristocratic style who got invited to stay at princely palaces. Good old Michaelangelo, who had the manners of a pig, simply toiled under a drippy Sistine Chapel ceiling, or inhaled marble dust as he hacked away at the stone.

History reveres both talents; but it was Leonardo (right) who got all the perks. Get it?