John Godawfuliano Designs for Top Chef

Dahlings, just when I despaired that John Godawfuliano was no more and that he had morphed into John Galliano the Spanish inspired hero of Christian Dior's 60th anniversary bash, he reemerges in full glory as The Gift That Keeps On Giving. Let's have some fun with this collection, shall we, and imagine the chefs and judges of this week's Top Chef reunion show in these, er, outfits.

Ilan Hall should have worn this darling ensemble at the reunion show. This is how the sockless look works best, dahling.

Cliff would have looked absolutely unforgettable in this one of a kind Zen Ghetto Apocalypto look. I so adore men with a huge, ahem, hose dangling down their chests.

I paired Clay with this 'Alligator just attacked my shirt' look. How darling would this original ensemble look on our Southern boy? Indeed, wearing this versatile outfit, Clay could motorcycle down to the Great Dismal, wade in mucky waters to catch crayfish, and leave his fly unloosed so he can pee while working. Truly an outrageously practical garment.

Mikey, having some heft around the middle, would best be served with this darling coat inspired by the finest bed ticking made in all of China. Our Mikey would have looked particularly cute wearing this adorable head bandana.

You say Sam would look too effeminate in fishnet stockings? Think again. Here's the perfect look for our studly man. Every time someone during the reunion said, "You lost, ha ha, you lost," this facial cover up would have hidden the true girlie pain and anguish our loser was experiencing.

This one's Da Bomb and has Tom Colicchio written all over it. As the finale of John Godawfuliano's unforgettable ensembles, I do believe Tom deserves the top honcho prize. A cute little beret perched on his bald pate, and Tom would look even more boffo than this male model.

Now it's your turn, dahlings. Which male at the reunion show would look stunning in this get up and why?

To paraphrase Paul Harvey from the old days: Click here to see the rest of the John Galliano Mercedez Benz Summer 2008 Menswear Collection story.

Christian Dior's 60th Anniversary

John Galliano held his extravagant autumn/winter 2008 haute couture collection in honor of the House of Dior's 60th Anniversary on July 3 at the Orangerie at Versailles. The show was inspired by the works of Pablo Picasso, Giovanni Boldini and Leonardo da Vinci. Ms. Place, who has always admired Galliano's genius but not necessarily his runway presentations, is in awe of this gorgeous collection.

Gisele Bundchen
The detail in these gowns is exquisite

Olga Scherer

Falvia de Oliveira
Lily Cole
Amber Valletta
Linda Evangelista
Daily skin care, great genes. How fab can forty get?

Naomi Campbell
John and his muses
John Galliano channelling Picasso
Charlize Theron in the front row
Arriving, Dita Von Teese with her clothes on

See the entire collection here.

John God-Awfuliano strikes again!

Is it me, or are John Galliano's 2007 Spring and Fall collections for women slightly preferable to the men's? (Click here for a reminder. But be warned, set down any hot liquids before peeking.) Please understand, I live in Richmond. We folks don't go around looking like this. I don't care how well his clothes are made.

The Spring Godawful Easter Bonnet Collection

The Fall Halloween Munster Family Parade

Does Ms. Place ever find anything to her liking, you ask yourself. Yes! Check out this Eli Saab Haute Couture collection. Breathtaking.

Find other Fall 2007 looks on this Elle Magazine site.

John God-Awfuliano

Yes, I know, fashionistas. The runway is a different world from the one I inhabit. Designer fashions are meant to point the way for us minions and Haute Couture is created for the rich and fashion forward. In three years we poor lemming slobs will be allowed to purchase faint, derivative shadows of what's struttin' down the runways now.

But, dahlings, sometimes words simply fail me when I see what the leaders in fashion are dreaming up for us. Let me demonstrate a few samples from John Galliano's Spring and Fall collections and you'll see why this dating gal is dreading to be seen on the arms of any man who will wear these getups. Here's why.

No bulge in the speedo. Think I'll pass.

I prefer to go out with a real leopard.
Wait, is that Michael Bolton hiding under all that pelt? Ew!

That's the strangest bulge I've ever seen.
And I refuse to go out with a man who teases his hair higher than mine.

He's almost normal. Let me think this over.
Naw.

My momma warned me to steer clear from terrorist scum bags.

He'd never fit in my house. My ceilings are only 9' high.

Y'shoulda showered first before you came over.

Unless you dribbled chocolate all over yourself? Mmm.

Dahling, you look like a walking knitting emporium.
You didn't need to drape the merchandise on your person;
there's a new invention called shelves

If you are famished to see more of Galliano's thoughts about fashion trends here are two links:

Galliano Spring 07

Galliano Fall 07