Mar 2, 2007

Seen in the Personals

Cymric lothario, 66, approaching, albeit slowly, the winter of his discontent, refuses to go gently into that last goodnight without a final re-kindling of a late remembered lust. Come! Be the dragon on my flag! Let me lie in your warmth! Consume me in the fires of your passion! Let me smoulder before we moulder!

"Just over five years ago, the London Review of Books began running personal advertisements, in the hope they would provide a platform for like-minded people to find love, or sex, or at least a suitable reading group.

One might have expected the advertisements to be more literary and erudite than the norm, but no one was quite prepared for the first ad, which read: "67-year-old disaffiliated flaneur, jacked-up on Viagra and looking for a contortionist trumpeter." A cult phenomenon was born."

Here are a few more personals to whet your appetite.

Please have a nice enough ass to fit into a thong bikini & be a computer-literate bookwarm who wants to live & loaf on the Florida beach, non smoker, European lady 22-48, no baggage, ready to travel to meet a very bright, eccentric fisherman, dog lover (7 little people) happy character, picture & phone number please.

American white knight, 41, believes in chivalry, loyalty and honestly-incarcerated, yes a ‘bad boy’ – WLTM female for snail mail friendship – You’ll not be disappointed

Wealthy I am, generous I'm not. Considerate and concupiscent I am. Widower, 61, BMI 24, 5'8" would like to begin evolving relationship with mistress.

Man (50), Worcester, would like to walk on the Malvern Hills not reading Piers Plowman or quoting Housman. Teaching engineering is fine, but my real vocation is transporting harps by Skoda. Woman wanted to support the Early Music Local of the Teamsters Union.

From the London Review of Books


BigAssBelle said...

i think i want all of these men. for coffee, at least. i only hope their little blurbs did not take days. i envision them semi-erect, agonizing over every word. one would hope not.

so have you partaken? ;-)

jinxy said...

Is BMI going to be the new thing in personals?