Mar 28, 2007

Handy Men

Danny Quick, painter, and Denver Miracle, electrician, and Red Jenkins, automotive genius, are the men I rely on these days. A single girl who lives far from kith and kin depends on boyfriends, affordable handy persons, and the kindness of neighbors to keep her household in tip top shape. Sweet Henry, my new wide eyed bachelor neighbor (too bad he’s got a cute girlfriend) helped reset my TV remote and figure out how to connect my VCR and DVD players to my cable box. He kindly labeled everything so that I could remember which doohicky to turn on when.

A friend recommended a plumber for my dripping faucet. I had already found one through Richmond Plumbing Specialties. These good old boys suggested a wonderful person even though, as they solemnly declared, I was a Yankee. Richmond Plumbing Specialties sits in a former McDonald’s restaurant right off Broad Street. Shelves upon neat shelves contain marvelous male and female bushers and adapters and fittings, the likes of which have not been seen in years. If I need to replace one minuscule part of an ancient 1955 faucet, you can betcha that they stock it. Plumbers just go there to ogle and tell tall tales and share plumbing horror stories. It’s also a great place for a single girl to hang out and smell the lovely aroma of testosterone if she hasn’t had a date in a while.
A few years back, one of my main squeezes proudly gave me a girlie tool bucket for my birthday. I was expecting jewelry, but it turns out that this bucket is one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. I still haven’t a notion of how to use half the stuff in it, but when a handy person (man or woman) comes to my rescue and asks, "Do you have a thingamajiggie wrench?" I hand them my girlie bucket. Lo and behold, the required tools are in it 90% of the time. Thanks, NR. You still warm the cockles of my heart. Oh, and your cockles weren’t too bad either.

But I digress.

All I need now is a good jack of all roof trades. Someone who is bonded, and who will clear my gutters and patch my roof for a reasonable price until I’ve saved enough mulah to afford a new roof and gutter system. Our houses are supposed to be our best investment, but mine, being of a certain age, is becoming a bit of a money pit.

Enough quibbling. Here is a photo of the James River. I walk along its shores every morning with my pooch, taking in the sights and sounds of river life along the quietest stretch of Riverside Drive. This morning a gaggle of geese landed in front of me, and a blue crane leisurely flapped overhead, looking for the perfect fishing spot. Life is good….as long as there’s a handy man in it.

Oh, and if you think Ms. Place is plumberly challenged, think again. I fixed the toilet all by myself. All I needed was a paperclip to attach the chain to the ball cock. Dahlings, such lovely language. I nearly fainted with delight. Isn't handy men language simply poetic?


jinxy said...

This stupid website ate my last comment. Ugh.

Anywho. I have top do a total roof replacement as well so girl I know your pain. I even have to replace all the wood in my soffetts (I don't know if that's how you spell it because I'm not roof-savvy like some.) With all the other work to be done on the house materials alone are looking to be out of my range.

But I'm thinking of having a Benefit for my roof. A $10 Lowes card will be the cover charge. We will call it a Raise The Roof Fund Benefit. We can do a raffle for one of my cakes or paintings. It may be cheesy but when the rainy season sets in at least my cheesy butt will stay dry.

Also, one of my late brother's roommates is a roofer. She is one of the handiest gals I know. She can be a little scary at times but she can lay a roof like nobody's business. She really is a Jill of all trades. She kinda reminds me of what Martha Stewart would have turned out like if she had to do really hard time in prison, the kind that warps you. It's delicious.

Ms. Place said...

That's a cute idea for a fundraiser, Jinxy, especially since your talents are saleable. As for a Jill of all Trades, I could use one now!

jinxy said...

LOL at least you don't have a tribe of Carpenter Bees dive-bombing you if you get too close to your house. I have a whole bunch of them living in my soffetts eating them up.

The wasps will be moving in soon if I don't get it fixed before it gets too hot. I hate carpenter bees. They don't sting but they are huge and noisy. Maybe they are huge because they are nice and nourished from EATING MY ROOF!!!!!