Nov 29, 2006

And the Coppertone Whitest Woman Award Goes To...

In 1994, I lay for an hour under an umbrella by the pool on top of a hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka, my body slathered with 60 SFP sunblock lotion and my head covered with a wide brimmed hat. My pale Dutch skin aged a decade during that hour, and I’ve not sunbathed since. The spots that appeared on my arms and hands that day are still visible. And I count myself lucky for having thoroughly covered my face.

Some women are already aware of the dangers of ultra violet rays to their skin and I salute them. In fact, these three celebrities are so white they must glow in the dark. Thus, the Coppertone Whitest Woman Award goes to...


Nicole Kidman:Whitest woman bar none. She is notorious for always wearing sunblock, even on ordinary days.

It was a close contest, as you can see by the honorable mentions:







Bernadette Peters: She’s past fifty but looks at least two decades younger.


Julianne Moore: A pale redhead with freckles, I cannot imagine her with a tan.


Special recognition to the women of Iceland: For being as pale as the ice caps receding on their land.

These women must have taken heed from Brigitte Bardot, the once lovely French actress who was notorious for her love of the Mediterranean sun, and who slowly mummified in front of our eyes. To be fair, Brigitte must now be in her 70's. But compare her photo to Sophia Loren's (on this site) and there's no mistaking the difference in the way these two women have aged.

5 comments:

Lisette said...

Okay... Brigitte looks like Yoda in drag! Wonder if that is where they got the inspiration?

jinxy said...

Oh honey, I live in Georgia, and I am a close runner up to the whitest woman in America. I, too, am a Dutch pale-skinned goddess. I put sunscreen on straight out of the shower, and before my foundation goes on in the mornings. It's not always easy standing out among all the tanned bodies, but I'm sure it will get easier as my peers get wrinklier and I stay the ethereal goddess I am.

Gorgeous Things said...

Mary Melanoma weighing in here (my sister had it and I have the scars to prove it). Let's hear it for the palefaces in the crowd, and I don't just mean those of the caucasian persuasion. It is amazing to see the difference sun exposure makes. And these days, the results are not only unsightly, but they can be deadly. Okay, off the soapbox, now the dish....

My friend Danielle met (well, washed her hands at the sink next to) Nicole Kidman at a restaurant in the East Village two years ago. She said that her skin is absolutely flawless, but that she also had a TON of makeup, face and body, on. I guess she doesn't like her freckles.

Ms. Place said...

I am forever grateful, Gorgeous Thing, for that wonderful tidbit. A friend of mine, who lives in Nashville, said Nicole looked even thinner and taller in person than in her photos.

eric3000 said...

Yeah, I wear sunblock even at night. Can you think of any good pale males? There aren't many big name actors who are at the Kidman paleness level. Tobey Maguire is the best I can come up with.