
So, here's our take on the outfits. Only four of us had the wherewithal to snark these less than sterling menswear designs: Ms. Place, Branch H2O, Major Bitchin', and Land Mine (who makes her last appearance this week, as she moves on to greener pastures.)
Miss Thing: I have no opinion about any of these outfits. They're all too bland. So, taa!
Land Mine: This looks like a waiter's jacket.
Branch H2O: "Ah, yes, boy, you may take my order now."
Major Bitchin': That black collar is Audrey Hepburnesque
Land Mine: Horrendous!
Ms. Place: This is how an air traffic comptroller must look after a plane has crashed.
Branch H2O: It looks like he tried to hang himself for wearing that shitty shirt - and then fell off the gallows.
Land Mine: Loved this. This was my favorite. B'sides, Steven is cool.
Branch H2O: I loved it. It's classic, well fitted, and that thing around his neck gives it some edge.
Ms. Place: Prep school 1936 or Brideshead Revisited. All this outfit needs is a teddy bear.
Major Bitchin': Loved Steven's spandex and football comment.
Bitchin' Major: That poor man - That boring suit's way too large. He's swimming in it.
Land Mine: Russian KGB man during the Cold War.
Ms. Place: A yummy man disguised as an accountant.
Branch H2O: He has more pins in him than a porcupine. As for Ricky, I wish the Bitch would just stop crying.
Ms. Place: Eeww. GM factory worker circa 1955.
Branch H2O: Bland, like toast. I don't have much to say about this.
Land Mine: I think THIS looks like a members only jacket. It's too casual for The Today Show.
Land Mine: This look is way too preppy.
Branch H2O: Yeah, too preppy. The fleece is interesting, but the rest is ordinary - khakis paired with an ordinary shirt.
Major Bitchin': Yawn
Ms. Place: I couldn't understand why the judges were so enamored with this. Perhaps it was sewn well.
Ms. Place: In that outfit, the model looks like a young Tony Soprano.
Branch H2O: Or a gay gangster. Actually, this would be a great look with a different shirt.
Major Bitchin': The proportions are off. The shirt's skin tight in the wrong places.
Land Mine: Yeah, you're right. The proportions are off. The sleeves are way too tight. And did he mean to leave the shirt untucked? It's too short.
Ms. Place: Chris Daughtry could wear this.
Branch H2O: I like it. It's plain and simple, yet the shirt's stylish and adds a bit of funk.
Major Bitchin': The shoes are awful.
Land Mine: It's like 70's rocker. At least it was something.
Branch H2O: This is a great look for a tall lean guy, but not for Tiki.
Ms. Place: The Vampire Lestat in the 21st Century. Actually, the model looked better in his skivvies. Boyfriend or not, I would have touched him.
Land Mine: He looks like an elf. All he needs is shoes that turn up at the toe.
Ms. Place: This is a bitchin Euro macho look. Love it.
Branch H2O: This would look good on a tall German, but not on 5'9" Tiki.
Major Bitchin: I love the look, but Branch is right.
Land Mine: Too metrosexual for my tastes.
Branch H2O: Overall this was different. I liked it. Well, ok. The little pocket thing and the shirt - too feminine. 80's fem.
Major Bitchin': I liked the colors. Bronzes. It would have helped if it was finished.
Land Mine: I kinda liked it, but I kinda don't.
Ms. Place: Oh, puhlease. Hideous. No self respecting man would wear this.
Miss Thing: Oh My God.
Branch H2O (shaking his head): What a hot shitty mess. Oliver Twist morphed into a mad golfer.
Ms. Place: Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof disguised as the Pied Piper. And look at those shoes!
Land Mine: What was she thinking?
Major Bitchin': She didn't have a clue.
Ms. Place: Meh.
Land Mine: I don't like beltless pants. I think they look cheap.
Branch H2O: This should have won. It's American, it has edge, and it's well made.
Major Bitchin': At least he used a shirt fabric with a pattern. It adds some excitement.
