Dishin' Project Runway: Ugly is as Ugly Does

We have come to this pass: A completely forgettable PR episode.

Except for Chris's aufing, there was very little to remember about Episode Four. Ms. Place thrives on dissing kitsch, but when Bravo creates a challenge that forces designers to create ugly designs using ugly trends from the past, well, she has to set her well-heeled foot down and vigorously protest. I winced when I watched the runway show. Let me go on record as saying that none of this week's designs won my heart. None.

There are no comments around the water cooler this week. Branch H2O and I were on the road, barreling down I-81 to the nether regions of Virginia to attend a training when we dissed PR4. Here are our observations.

Ms.Place: What did you think of this week's epi, Branch?

Branch H2O: I can't remember from all that black and white and bland beigeness. You know, there isn't anyone who's funny on the show this year. Christian has a biting wit that I can appreciate, but at times he just comes across as a straight up freak, and that's not really funny. I couldn't stand that tall guy from Season 2, you know, the one who made the finals. . .

Ms. Place: Santino?

Branch H2O: Yeah, him. But at least he was funny. He was memorable.

Chris

Ms. Place: I'm going to say it: This was not the losing design. Chris was aufed because of his team's poor color choices and because he was the leader of a bland collection. But there were other worse concepts and executions. Read Daniel V's blog for an insightful comment about these shoulder pads. Yeah, the jacket could have been fitted better at the shoulders, and the material is too dark and heavy, but I love the sleeves.

Branch H20: I agree. The jacket was bad, but the dress was modern and kinda cool. It was sewn well.

Victorya

Ms. Place: Aside from the fact that Victorya behaved like a major passive-aggressive Bitch, I thought this outfit was the weakest of the lot. Why did she add a stomacher to a simple ballerina dress? It is stiff, poorly made and puckers at the bottom. Besides, that stiff panel makes no sense as a design element. Ricky salvaged what he could by helping with the fit up top, but I think this dress looks even worse in the photo than on the runway.

Branch H2O: I can't stand people like her. If she wanted to lead, then she should have stepped up to the plate. She wanted all the glory but none of the responsibility. As for the dress, I can barely remember seeing it. I thought the colors were ok, but those were the team's choices.

Jillian, Kevin, Rami

Ms. Place: This is definitely the winning collection. It has the most cohesive look, though I would not be caught dead wearing any of these clothes. That's the problem with this week's outfits. When designers are instructed to create clothes inspired by past ugly fads, they'll have a difficult time coming up with anything beautiful or flattering. That poodle skirt swallows up Rami's model; Kevin's model looks like she borrowed my dog's Elizabethan collar (the one he wore after his hip operation), and Jillian's model resembles Rebecca from Sunnybrook Farm or Grace Kelly in The Country Girl. I did like the blouse, which saved the outfit.

Branch H2O: I think Kevin is showing some design muscle, but Rami and Gillian are in danger of canceling each other out. I can't imagine that both will be chosen to compete in the finals. This is the strongest team, though, and I think all three designers will go far this season.

Ms. Place: I thought the same about Chris.

Branch H2O: Yeah, I could be wrong.

Christian

Branch H2O: A Victorian Goth Secretary. His point of view has nothing to do with reality. In fact, the three pieces in this collection remind me of something out of a Tim Burton movie.

Ms. Place: That length of that skirt hits the "dowdy" zone on her legs. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that length. And what's with that ill fitting neckline?

Steven

Branch H2O: If a woman bends over and you can see all of her pants, then the design is no good. Would you wear this?

Ms. Place: Lengthen it by three feet, add some sleeves, and it would make a nice little travel robe. Strike that. There's nothing about this design that twirls my cookies.

Ricky

Branch H2O: I was waiting for that little Bitch to cry, but he handled himself well this week.

Ms. Place: And diplomatically. I would have decked Victorya every time she opened her bossy mouth.

Branch H2O: Passive-aggressives are a slippery slope. He should have concentrated more on his outfit. Considering the punch out requirement, he created a pretty sophisticated version of underwear on the outside. I could see a young girl wear this.

Ms. Place: The judges kept complaining about the fabric and fit. It was no worse than Victorya's and Elisa's. Frankly, I think they jumped on him because he was team leader. Looking at the photo, I like this outfit more and more.

Elisa, Jack, Kit, Sweet P

Ms. Place: Meh

Branch H2O: Feh

Ms. Place: Ok, twist my arm. They are not all that bad. I like Sweet P's design, and Elisa and Jack acquitted themselves well. They did not pull their teams down. I did not like Kit's dress. It's nothing I can really place my finger on, since my dislike is based on a combination of factors: pattern, skirt length, and long scarvy thing dangling from the model's neck.

Branch H2O: I couldn't distinguish what was happening in Kit's outfit from all that black and white pattern. And I hated the beige color of Sweet P's dress.

Ms. Place: You gonna watch PR next week?

Branch H2O: Not if it interferes with my beauty sleep.

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